Carlos Sainz prided himself on many things.

His hair.
His fashion sense.
His ability to read a text message and answer within a socially acceptable time frame.

His boyfriend, however, texted like a tax accountant.

Full sentences.
Proper punctuation.
Capital letters.
Like he was submitting assignments to his English teacher instead of talking to his boyfriend.

After three months of dating ... dates, soft kisses, sleepy hugs, the whole mushy mess ... Carlos finally snapped.

It happened on a perfectly normal Wednesday when Max texted: