The year is 2025. The paddock is a war zone.

On one side stands Ferrari, glorious, red, and dramatically underperforming. On the other side, Williams, unexpectedly quick, fresh off a shock podium at Monaco.

Charles Leclerc, Ferrari’s golden boy (well, at least in the marketing posters — on track, not so golden lately), gazes longingly across the paddock at his ex-teammate, Carlos Sainz. Carlos, the rogue who defected to Williams. The man who left him for a car that could actually finish a race.

“O, Carlos, Carlos! Wherefore art thou Williams?” Charles whispers dramatically into the night, clutching the side of his motorhome like it’s a balcony.

“Deny thy team and refuse thy livery! Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Ferrari driver!”

Fred Vasseur, appearing out of the shadows like a tired dad at his limit: