Carlos Sainz would like to go on record and say that none of this is his fault. It starts, like all disasters in his life seem to, with a misunderstanding that he is too busy, too polite, and far too emotionally avoidant to correct.

Because when Charles Leclerc starts looking at him like that...soft, earnest, a little hopeful...Carlos assumes it’s just… Charles being Charles. Intense. Affectionate. Slightly dramatic in a way that makes everything feel cinematic.

And when Max Verstappen starts showing up unannounced, stealing his food, sitting too close, and texting him at 2 a.m. things like you better not be asleep when I’m not there...

Carlos assumes that’s just Max being Max. Which is to say: territorial, confusing, and occasionally feral. So really. Really. REALLY.

This is not his fault.

…